Makkana Onnanoko – Bright Red Girl

Episode 1 (February 5th 2016)

00.00 – The Transfer Student

My name is ^{I WILL PROTECT YOU} _{Mamoru Kimishika} ^[1].

I know this is out of nowhere, but I want to tell you something.
It may sound like a silly story, but I really want to tell it.
Even if there’s no one out there who’s reading this.

A transfer student from the city arrived here today.
The transfer student’s body was completely transparent, like the invisible man.
The boys in my class got all excited.
But their reason was different from mine: to them, she looked like a very beautiful girl.
They kept whispering the names of their favorite celebrities, saying the transfer student looks like that one or the other.

But to me,
she just looked like a blow-up doll with bright red blood running through her veins, underneath her transparent skin.
Flowing vividly.
When the transparency went away, I got a glimpse of her true appearance.
That beautiful, bloody girl stood in front of the blackboard.
Apparently, I was the only one who could see it.
Her blood.

I have no idea what the teacher said,
or how the transfer student greeted the classroom.
All I could hear was a strong, vibrating sound that filled the air.
Bzzzzzzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzzzt.
I’ve heard it before, maybe when I was listening to that Scottish band.^[2]
Yeah, it’s kinda like that weird music.

Oh, damn it.
Our eyes just crossed.
The noise disappeared immediately.
She’s staring at me.
There’s so much blood.
It keeps flowing and flowing.
This is way too scary, gimme a break!
I’m not a psychic, I can’t deal with this! I just can’t! No way!

I suddenly had a bad feeling.
The teacher looked at me.
“You can sit… next to Kimishika.”
Are you kidding me…!?

I looked away from her and towards the countryside town outside the window.
“Beware of red women”, that’s what my grandpa used to say.
Nah, that was a lie. He never actually said that.
Sorry, that’s not like me. I’m just nervous.
What he actually used to say is…

“Do you understand, Mamoru?
‘Mamoru’ means ‘to protect’.
That’s the meaning behind your name.
You’ll grow up into a man who can protect the ones he loves.”

Something like that.
That’s why I’m sworn to protect.
Sworn to protect my mother,
who raised me as a single parent.
Not that she needs it.

“Protect me.”
“What?”
“Please, protect me.”

A bright red girl (ah, right, the transfer student) was staring at me.
She was standing very, very close to me.
She actually looked very cute up close.
All red, covered in blood.

If I had three centimeters of guts,
I could share my first kiss with her.
If I did that right there in the classroom, my life would change overnight.
I’d become the most popular guy in school, the center of attention.
I’d get in with the fourth-graders and begin my career as a bully.
If that happened, I could take my revenge on Kosaka.
I hate that guy.
Staring with those narrow eyes of his, he picks a new victim every month.
I’ll make him pay for what he did to Moppin.
Oh, Moppin is a friend of mine, Mochizuki.
The fourth-graders beat him up while he was on his way home.
Kosaka broke one of his front teeth, poor guy.
Life can be pretty harsh for a middle-schooler.
Enemies are everywhere, and trouble’s always hiding around the corner.
Forcing together kids with different upbringings and values
is just a recipe for disaster.
Ah, of course that includes me.

Those cool teachers who take care of their students with overwhelming empathy just don’t exist in real life.
Well, maybe they do exist, but I can assure you there aren’t any in this middle school.
They just want to leave the classroom as fast as possible and collect their paychecks.
Everyone in my class, no,
everyone in my school just looks to manga, anime or light novels to find their ideal teacher.
They have no expectations for the real ones.

Ahh, now I’m just getting depressed.

The transfer student’s still looking at me.
Is she an idol or a magazine model in Tokyo?
She looks like someone. Yeah, that actress.
The one from that drama… which one was it?

“Are you listening? Will you protect me?”
“Yes, yes I will.”

I gave that response reflexively, by instinct.
That was the beginning of my nightmare.

00.10 – Introductions

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

I’m the protagonist of this story.
I am also the author, the one who threw this letter into the sea of the net, not knowing if anyone will even read it.
What I saw is pretty scary.
So I decided to record it here, a little bit at a time.
But it’s about time I introduced myself.
Reading someone else’s ramblings without knowing who they are can get pretty awkward.

I live in Mayumori^[3].
A small town that has everything and nothing.
There are no famous landmarks, but we have family restaurants, some big electronics stores, Pachinko parlors, internet cafes and everything else you could possibly need on the national highway. Oh yeah, and Aeon^[4], of course. And UNIQLO^[5].

It takes two and a half hours to get to Tokyo by train.
I feel that’s a good distance. Not too close and not too far.
It makes you feel like you can go to Tokyo whenever you want.
But the truth is,
it’s not easy for a busy middle school student to make two and a half hours.
There’s some girls who go to Tokyo every weekend, but they have faces like…
Oh, no!
Have I said too much?
I’d better shut up, or this is gonna come back to me like a boomerang and mess me up.
It is a small town, after all.

I’m a third-year at Birmingham middle school.
I have my entrance exams next year.
In other words, I am right in the middle of my troubled adolescence.
There’s a reason why my school is called Birmingham.
We’ll go to Birmingham for our graduation trip,
so most people assume it’s that.

I’m not a big fan of England.
It’s notorious for its horrible food, so it’s not like I have great expectations, and yet…
I’m pretty excited to get on a plane and go to a foreign country.
I barely go out of town,
let alone out of the country,
so it’s gonna be a breath of fresh air.
I know it’s not gonna change my life or anything.
I’m not an idiot.
Nowadays you can look up anything you want on the internet.
If I really wanted to,
I could easily learn more about Birmingham than someone who lives in Birmingham.
And yet, in this perfectly interconnected world…
I, a third-grade student who’s still wet behind the ears,
managed to stumble onto a story you could never find online.

Now it’s time to get to the good stuff.
Are you ready?

Let’s start with the bright red girl.
Her name is…

TO BE CONTINUED…

Welcome to “Suda’s Fables”, where you can enjoy the insanity of Mr. Suda’s work as several stories are published in parallel. Please take note that “killer is dead” does not end with its fourth installment and will continue in the near future.

“Bright Red Girl” is a brand new story, titled after the 1983 Kyoko Koizumi song, which turned her from one of many idols to an all-time superstar.

As you’ll see, when Mr. Suda thinks of a “bright red” girl, his mind immediately goes to blood. It is also, surprisingly, a story about youths. We hope you enjoy it.

Editorial department

[TL NOTE: Despite claims to the contrary, killer is dead did not move past its fourth episode on FABLE51 and remains incomplete. In fact, no other story was published as part of FABLE51 after the ninth episode of Makkana Onnanoko.]

NOTES:
[1] Mamoru’s name can be translated to “I will protect you”, with the original text noting this (僕は君鹿守/きみしかまもる). This is, unfortunately, impossible to translate directly without changing the character’s name to something idiotic. So I humbly ask for your forgiveness in not changing his name to “Will Protect”, forcing you to read this note.

[2] This is most likely referring to Shoegaze, an indie rock genre known for its heavy use of guitar distortions. The band in question is most likely The Jesus and Mary Chain, with their live shows being known for being ear-piercingly noisy with feedback and resonance. Other options include the Cocteau Twins, Mogwai, Boards of Canada, Teenage Fanclub and Orange Juice. Special thanks to Dilemma, 壹玖壹零 and Anthony “Joseph Goebbels” Sinclair.

[3] Mayumori is a fictional town.

[4] Aeon is a chain of Japanese malls.

[5] UNIQLO is a chain of Japanese clothing retail stores.

Episode 2 (February 19th 2016)

01.00 – Mako

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

I’m gonna continue the story.
The bright red girl’s name is Mako^[1].

The transfer student, Mako Honjo, instantly became the center of attention.
As soon as class was over, all the boys crowded around her.
There were only two who kept their distance and observed the situation.
Me and Moppin.
She lived in the legendary ward of Setagaya, Tokyo.
There were six idols in her class.
“It’s not that uncommon,” she said.
“Whaaat? Who the hell does she think she is!?
Don’t act like you’re hot shit just because you’re from Tokyo!”
The girls glared at her,
but as it turned out, she only listed the six idols who already made their debut with some major labels.
She didn’t even bother counting the others.
Apparently, in Setagaya, underground idols are a dime a dozen.
Aonuma and her group of bullies left,
looking pretty pissed.
Maybe they were thinking about picking on the new girl from Tokyo,
but now that Mako had revealed her connections,
I’m sure at least some of them will try to get into the idol scene through her.
They’d never make it. Not with those faces.
… Uh-oh, I’d better shut it. Aonuma’s gonna curse me.
“Beware of a woman’s rage”, that’s what my grandpa used to say.

“Mamorumba, let’s go home, zeah!”
“Stop talking like Nagata, Moppin. It’s out of style.”
“Come on, let’s just go, zeah!”
“Sorry, I’ve got some stuff to take care of today.”
“Ohh, I see, zeah. You’re gonna do that thing with the thing, zeah?”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then, Mamorumba. Good luck, zeah!”^[2]

Mamorumba is my nickname.
Only Moppin calls me that.
That’s pretty annoying, isn’t it? His Nagata impression.
I don’t even know where to start explaining Nagata.
So I’ll just move on.

Apparently, Mako Honjo became good friends with Sanko, and they went home together.
Sanko is my childhood friend, and my first love.
Not that she knows that.
I’d never be able to tell her, obviously.
‘Cause you know, we used to play together when we were children.
Then, when we began second grade, she suddenly became very cute,
and I really didn’t know what to do with that.
But we go to school together every morning, and sometimes she even comes into my room unannounced in the middle of the night.
I remember that Gachogacho once said
she looked like someone from that idol group.
Which one was it…?
Seriously, what was it? I really can’t remember.
I think it was a derivative group of 48^[3].
Ah, Gachogacho is an acquaintance of mine, Kaga.
Kaga became Gaka, then Gaka became Gaga, then Gaga became Men’s Gaga^[4],
then Men’s Gaga became Gagamen, then Gagamen became Gagaman and so on and so forth, until Gachogacho became his nickname.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Sanko.
I’ll tell you more about her next time.

00.18 – New Moon on Monday

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

I’ve already told you that I’m a third-grader at Birmingham middle school.
Today, I’m gonna tell you a few things about our school.
Let’s start with Birmingham school’s song.
Rumor has it that our headmaster is a big fan of a certain rock band from Birmingham.
She even followed them all the way to England.
By the way, never let her hear you say the word “England”.
She’ll just go on and on about how “Britain” or “UK” is more correct.
What’s the big deal?

Anyway, back to the song.
That rock band from Birmingham is called Dylan Dylan.
Our school song is a rip-off of one of theirs, “New Moon on Monday”.
She keeps it under wraps because if anyone finds out, the school’ll get sued.
But you know, it’s a very good song. I really like the chorus.
I get goosebumps every time we sing it all together.
Actually, I’ll sing it right now!

How’s my pronunciation? Pretty good, right? I practice it a lot. I even sing it at the karaoke.
Does that mean I love my school? No, not at all.
Well, I’m tired now, so I’m going to sleep.

For Mamoru.

Correction.
It’s not “Dylan Dylan”, it’s Duran Duran.
Duran² is not a rock band.
Duran² is New Romantic, so don’t get them mixed up.
I’m not just a Duran² fan.
I am their only witness.

– Mom

Huh? What’s that?
Mom wrote on my blog again?
What would she do if somebody saw this?

My mom’s name is Makiko Kimishika.
She’s the headmaster of Birmingham middle school.
As a young woman, she studied in Engl… in the UK.
She lived there for a while, and since their food was so bad,
she lost all sense of taste, and she became able to eat pretty much anything.
Anyway, the guy she was dating at the time was a studio engineer.
She fell in love with him at first sight,
as he was mixing Duran² albums……
So there you have it, I’m a half-English dumbass!

TO BE CONTINUED…

“Suda’s Fables” is where you can enjoy the insanity of Mr. Suda’s work as several stories are published in parallel. This time around, we bring you the second installment of the youthful story “Bright Red Girl”.

Why does Mamoru see Mako as bright red? How are their paths going to cross? And what is the meaning of the mysterious numbers in each section’s title? “Bright Red Girl” will continue in the next issue.

Editorial department

NOTES:
[1] Mako (魔子) can also mean Demonic (魔) Child (子).

[2] Understanding this joke took me ages, and I am still not sure this is correct. I believe that the Nagata mentioned here is Professional Wrestler Yuji Nagata from NJPW. Nagata would end many of his lines with ‘zea’ (ゼァ), which is a badly enunciated version of the English word ‘there’. I think that the joke here is that Moppin’s enunciation (ぜぁッ) is even worse and more exaggerated. Using ッ at the end of a phrase is internet speak to emphasize the preceding letter, meaning it also carries an implication of Moppin being nerdy. I think. It may be a coincidence, and the two of them could be talking about an entirely different Nagata.

[3] AKB48.

[4] Men’s Gaga is the vocalist of Visual Kei band Paiotsu.

[5] The joke here is that Mamoru’s English pronunciation is, in fact, not that great. Hence why we just outright went with the original romanization instead of correcting it.

Episode 3 (February 26th 2016)

01.03 – Backhand

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

This time I’ll tell you my greatest skill.
It’s tailing.
Every day, I just pick somebody to follow.
Why?
Because I’ve got a lot of free time.
I’d rather not tell you this,
but I’ve resolved to be completely honest here instead of trying to show off,
so I’ll tell the truth, even if it breaks my heart to do so.
I’m not in any club.

I tried joining the Tennis club,
but I couldn’t get used to the backhand style.
I tried playing fronthand,
but I got on the bad side of a dumb, burly senior
who put me on ball-picking duty.
After a while, my health deteriorated
and the doctor forced me to quit,
but I still felt defeated.
I was defeated by Tennis.
That’s why I decided that I’m gonna join a club as soon as I get into high school.
I’m not going to quit, no matter what. It’s a self-imposed challenge.
Though I might not like to admit it, I felt the sting of defeat.

But I have to say, having a lot of free time was not so bad.
So I started following people around.
I don’t really care who it is.
Every day I just pick a new target at the station, on the train or at the convenience store
and I start tailing them.
Sometimes it can get pretty dramatic.
I once spotted a shoplifter leaving the Supermarket.
I hesitated at first, but in the end I decided to follow her.
Wanna know what happened next?
It’s a great story, but I’ll have to tell you some other time.

Sorry, I got carried away……
Let’s go back to our main topic, Mako. I’m gonna try and focus more.

Mako Honjo and Sanko Kai went their separate ways once they arrived at Mayumori Station.
Sanko got on the bus we usually take to go home.
Mako took the subway.
I got into the next train car and started watching her closely.
I’m not sure, but I think she noticed me.
She moved her eyes as if she felt my presence.
I think our eyes met in the window’s reflection.
But I’m not sure.

Mako Honjo got off at the fifth stop past Mayumori.
That’s the same stop as John.
Ah, John is…… no, let’s not.
I made sure to stay 30 meters behind Mako as I followed her.
That’s a cardinal rule in tailing.
30 meters. Not more, not less.
At that distance, you get the best balance between sight, hearing and perception.
Mako has a beautiful way of walking.
Her legs are slender, with only a hint of muscle.
Her calves are perfect.
When I say ‘perfect’, I mean it in a general sense.
I’d like to state here that it’s got nothing to do with my personal taste.

Huh? Hmm? Hmmmmm?
Mako’s body was turning more and more red.
Thump, thump, thump, thump, her blood was flowing.
She left red footprints wherever she walked.
Not just footprints, actually. Puddles of blood.
She’s like a Bloodstain Girl.
That’s a good name, isn’t it? Bloodstain Girl?
Could be the title of a light novel.

Well, regardless.
Mako stepped inside an old apartment complex.
Is that where she lives?
Maintaining her beautiful walk,
she went inside building 3, area B.

I probably shouldn’t go any further.
That’d be a bad idea.
That’s what my instincts are screaming at me.
But my other instincts are way too curious,
too eager to know what’s going to happen next.
I’m torn. What should I do……?
Hey, what do you think?
Should I press on, or quietly sneak away?
This may very well be a trap set by Mako.
Our eyes did meet on the train, after all.
Yes, I think she’s trying to lure me inside this place.
I, Mamoru Kimishika, will be waiting for your response!
Decide my path:

1. Go inside the apartment complex.
2. Go home.

Your deadline is next week, when the new episode of “Bright Red Girl” will be posted.
Your choices will change the story, and with it, my fate.
I look forward to your feedback.

Nah, I couldn’t wait a week.
So, without a hint of doubt, I followed her in the apartment complex.

00.19 – Cherry blossoms

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

Do you like Starbucks?
I like it.
Everyone likes Starbucks!

But we don’t have it in my town. I have to go to the next town over, Hina-shiro^[1], if I ever feel like Starbucks.
The act of going to Hina-shiro for Starbucks,
we call it “stowing away”.
The stores in town just can’t scratch that same itch.
I love Starbucks’ city-like atmosphere.
It makes you feel like you’re in a skyscraper in New York.
But there’s one thing I’ll never be able to forgive Starbucks.
That’s right, I’m talking about the notorious Cherry Blossom incident.
At the beginning of spring, they start serving a seasonal, limited edition beverage, the Cherry Blossom Latte.
But somehow, it’s always gone by the time the cherry trees actually blossom!
By mid-March, they replace it with some other product,
like the Caramel Brûlée.
So this year, as the cherry blossoms start falling,
I will once again be denied the pleasure of drinking a Cherry Blossom Latte while watching the cherry blossoms fall.
I keep asking myself,
what do I have to do to drink a Cherry Blossom Latte while watching the cherry blossoms fall?
I’m sure its release is timed to the blossoming of the cherry trees in New York.
New York is a lot warmer than Japan, so they would blossom earlier in the year.
It’s settled then: I must go to New York.
That’s where my dream of drinking a Cherry Blossom Latte while watching the cherry blossoms fall will be realized!
And afterwards, I’m going to Las Vegas to gamble.

00.1999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999: Resentment

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

Who the hell posted a comment? I have the comment section locked!
No matter who you are, I’ll find you, you can count on it.
You really don’t want to make me mad.
I’m gonna send you the virus I created.
That’s right, my own virus. It’s called Mamoranai No. 1.
It makes it so every time you click, your mouse will click five times instead.
It operates on a variable. Scared yet?
You should be. It’s not something you can just ignore.
Like, imagine doing five clicks every time.
That’d be so embarrassing!

And yes, I am aware that Seattle is the home of Starbucks.
I was just joking when I said New York.
You should get some sense of humor.
Don’t take everything so literally.
Everyone knows it’s Seattle.
There’s no point in going like,
“Hurr durr, he said New York LMAO!”, you think you’re funny?

Everyone, the comment section is locked for a reason.
So don’t cheat. You can’t use it.
If anyone tries this again, I’m sending Mamoranai No. 2 after them.
It’ll lock your volume to max, 4649!

TO BE CONTINUED…

“Suda’s Fables” is where you can enjoy the insanity of Mr. Suda’s work as several stories are published in parallel. This time around, we bring you the third episode of the surprisingly youthful “Bright Red Girl”, as told by the middle-schooler Mamoru Kimishika.

Aside from this serialization, I also got a chance to sit down with Mr. Suda and ask about his current thoughts, such as why he started this series. We plan on sharing them with you soon, but for now, look forward to the fourth installment of “Bright Red Girl”!

Editorial department

NOTES:
[1] Hinashiro is the main setting of the Syndrome games. The spelling used here is that of the original Twilight Syndrome (雛城) rather than the one used in Moonlight Syndrome and The 25th Ward (雛代), hence the hyphenated spelling (Hina-shiro).
The Silver Case ultimately reveals that Hinashiro became a part of the 24th Ward, as part of the former Musashino City area. As Mayumori is right next to it, it can be inferred that it is also a part of the 24th ward.
It should be noted that the Starbucks in Hinashiro station actually does make an appearance in The 25th Ward, in the Placebo chapter YUKI.

Episode 4 (March 4th 2016)

01.05 – Apartment 301

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

I’m going to continue my story about Mako.

I followed Mako Honjo inside the apartment complex,
and then inside the building.
By watching her from afar,
I saw her enter an apartment on the third floor.
It was apartment 301, in building 3, area B.
Is that where she lives?

The whole complex looks abandoned, though.
It’s no wonder people say it’s haunted.
It’s rare to spot anyone walking around,
and it looks like the vast majority of residents are foreigners.
Ah, that reminds me of Pacchan from class.
He’s half-Filipino.
He’s quite handsome and popular with the girls.
He’s very good at soccer.
Moppin told me that he’s even been scouted by a foreign team,
but he’s not sure if he wants to move to Spain or not.

Oh, wanna know why?
Well, apparently you can’t eat paella in Madrid.
It’s only served in Barcelona and down south, or so Pacchan says.
Since real paella is very salty,
the one made in Japan is actually the best.
But you know, who cares?
It’s all they talk about on TV nowadays.
How it’s good for you, for your health, for your brain…
I’m sure that’s true, but what’s the big deal?

I haven’t exactly organized my thoughts on this,
but I think the world is built on waste.
People can’t manage to be efficient in their day-to-day life,
yet somehow, they want to be efficient in the kitchen.
Both in the real world and in video games, it’s all about optimization, cost efficiency…
Maybe it works for you, or maybe you get nothing out of it.
Isn’t it presumptuous to tell others what’s good for them?
Hey, I just managed to preach to you about preaching.
Well, you can rip me off if you want. I’ll give you this one for free!

All I’m trying to say is,
Wednesday Downtown^[1] is the best.
It’s really nice seeing adults waste their time
without accomplishing anything.
It teaches you that you don’t necessarily have to accomplish something in life.
Why would I even try?
It’s all about living in the moment.
I’m going to live as if I could die tomorrow, just like Kuro-chan^[2] taught me.
That’s right, Downtown and Kuro-chan are my gods.

Phew, that was pretty intense.

Huh? What was I talking about?
Ah yeah, Pacchan. He’s a pretty good guy.
He’s serious about sports, but he doesn’t act like a dumb jock.
He’s always coming up with funny gags to make the others laugh.
Like when he does Cristiano^[3]‘s slide,
or Cristiano’s dive,
or Cristiano’s smug face, it always gives us a good laugh.
I don’t even know who this Cristiano is, but Pacchan’s gags are still fun.
I’d say he’s on the same level as Haranishi^[4], or close to it at least.
He’s amazing, his sense of humor is really sharp.
I’ll try to upload a video next time.

There’s a ton of guys who are good at sports,
but there aren’t many guys like Pacchan.
That’s why our class doesn’t really have a caste system.
I’m thankful for this,
first-graders have it much worse.
Boys and girls all have their separate ranks, and I don’t like castes to begin with.
A group of seven individuals stands at the top. The S7.
S7 stands for Special 7. Dumb, isn’t it?
That name sucks. Those guys watch too many dramas.
Whatever, let’s go with SDI7.
The Special Dumb Idiots 7.
I sent Mamoranai No. 4 to all of them.
Mamoranai No. 4 connects to your bluetooth
and eats up all your battery.

Sorry, I got sidetracked again. Back to Pacchan.
He was very popular during Valentine’s day.
All sorts of girls, even from other classes and lower grades,
flocked to him during recession to give him chocolate.
Did I envy him?
Of course I did.
But I got chocolate from Sanko, so it’s fine.
It was handmade. Sure, it was giri choco^[5], but it was still handmade.
So I was satisfied.
She just bought chocolate for all the other boys.
Only mine was handmade. Even if it was a giri choco.
She told me it was left over from the chocolate she made for her dad, but it was still handmade.
I’m not trying to brag.
But compared to my yearly humiliation, that was a nice change of pace.
I did brag to Moppin though.
Anyway, it’s not like I care about getting chocolates.
But I got another one from Mariko.
She’s a very plain girl from my class.
She’s got big eyes behind her glasses
and her natural eyelashes are pretty long.
Mariko, whom I identified as a hidden beauty, gave me chocolate.
I’m gonna have to get to the bottom of this.
So, naturally, I’m gonna have to tail her.

Stay tuned for future news.

Alright, it’s about time to get back to the apartment building.
Ahh, I don’t even wanna remember, but I will, and I’ll write it down.

In order to see what was going on in apartment 301, which Mako Honjo just entered,
I infiltrated the apartment building.

“What are you doing here?”

Mako Honjo was looking down at me from the window of apartment 301.
Her eyes were terrifying.
For the first time, I was seriously afraid of being expelled.
I wanted to get out of there immediately.
I really didn’t want to be there.
It was the worst place for me to be.

Mako Honjo had seen me.
Could it be that I fell for her trap on purpose?
I was like a grasshopper, lured in by a Queen Spider^[6].
I just hopped all the way into her trap.
But it’s not too late, I can still run away.

“Don’t run away.”

The Queen Spider restrained me with her dignified voice.
Mako Honjo opened the door of her apartment
and came down the stairs, her eyes fixated on me the whole time.
That was my last chance.
I told myself I had to run away, but I couldn’t.
Mako Honjo’s gaze had me petrified.
I could not move.
As she stood in front of me, I was surprised that I could not see a drop of blood.

“Suda’s Fables” is where you can enjoy the insanity of Mr. Suda’s work as several stories are published in parallel. With this issue, we again bring you yet another installment of “Bright Red Girl”. This time, Mamoru Kimishika’s narration gets even more derailed than usual, but it also brings us closer to the core of the story. According to Mr. Suda, this story will keep on going for six consecutive weeks. I can’t wait to see where it will take us in the next two episodes!

Editorial department

NOTES:
[1] Wednesday Downtown is a Japanese variety show where the guest, usually a comedian, proposes an outlandish theory and it is proven or disproven through the course of the episode.

[2] Kuro-chan is a Japanese comedian.

[3] Cristiano Ronaldo, a Portuguese soccer player. The text refers to Cristiano’s “simulation” in katakana (シミュレーション) which in turn, is what’s commonly known as a “dive” in the west, pretending to be injured by another player to gain a penalty kick.

[4] Takayuki Haranishi is a Japanese comedian part of the FUJIWARA duo.

[5] “Giri choco” is a Japanese colloquialism to indicate a Valentine chocolate that is given out of obligation rather than as a declaration of love.

[6] Queen Spider is another name for the Nephila, an east-Asian spider.

Episode 5 (March 11th 2016)

1.06 – Sky Blue

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

“Are you scared?”
“Not really, it’s just…”
“Is this your first time going to a girl’s house?”
“Yes, but…”
“Oh, so that’s why you’re scared.”
“I told you, that’s not it. And yet…”
“… And yet?”
“My heart is pounding.”
“You can relax. This isn’t my house.”
“Huh?”

Mako Honjo smiled softly.
She was making fun of me.
I followed her up the stairs.
I could see her light blue underwear,
but she didn’t care.

Mako Honjo entered apartment 301.
I braced myself. I was scared after all.
I was afraid….
Was… was it fear?
Huh?
I-I don’t…
I can’t type.
It’s… It’s… It’s… It’s…
Consciousness… fading…..

00.9999 – Influenza

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

I’ve got it.
Influenza.
Got the flu.
Who does?
I do!
You’ve gotta be kidding me.
Ahh, even though I made a promise with Mako…
I got sick. I’m shivering like crazy.
I should’ve listened to Moppin and worn my mask.
I can’t stand this shit. What do I do?
Is there any way to get rid of it faster?
I looked it up online,
and apparently, you’ll heal immediately if you take a bath in freezing water. But I know that’s a scam.
Oh, speaking of scams. I got caught in a big one recently.

I was watching a movie on TV late at night,
but right before the movie, they showed a trailer for an upcoming one which looked super interesting.
So I went to Omiya^[1] straight away to watch it.
I think the main star was Jake Gyllenbon.^[2]
It’s the story of some creepy voyeur
who keeps chasing accidents and crimes just to film them.
I couldn’t enjoy the movie though.
I wasn’t really expecting it.
I even went all the way to Omiya to watch it…
By the way, did you know that Omiya is the number one ward in Japan?
Surprised?
That’s what real useful information looks like.
Without it, you’d just go to Omiya and say oh, there’s Omiya.
It’s just Omiya. Good old Omiya.
It’d be no different from any other big town, right?
But as soon as you find out that it’s the best,
You’ll go oohh, let’s go to Omiya, the number one ward in Japan!
You get a lot more out of it.
It’s a great improvement.
Information Programs^[3] are super useful!!!!!

So why is this happening?
It really sucks a big one.
I get spammed just for telling the truth.
The online community is just a den of scumbags!
What’s so good about being buried in information?
If you like it so much, go have sex with it!
Yeah, you can really show off all your sexual techniques to information.
Ooops, dirty jokes are not allowed.

Anyway, back to Omiya.
The movie I saw was “Nightcrawler”.
(I just looked up the title.)
Starring Jake Gyllenbon.
I saw it surrounded by other film buffs.
All sitting in neatly arranged chairs,
they create a space that’s ideal for watching movies.
I just love the atmosphere of single-screen movie theaters.
It makes me feel alive.
Like that’s a place where I can truly belong.

While I was watching the movie, something strange happened.
Am I a psychic?
Or perhaps a Newtype^[4]?
I could always guess what would happen in the next scene.
I was predicting each of them so accurately, I got chills.
Don’t worry, I’m not gonna spoil it.
But you need to quit spamming me.
If it happens again, I’m gonna spread the entire Mamoranai series all over the world.
You better take this to heart.

As I said, I’m not gonna spoil the ending,
but it was the only scene I couldn’t predict.
I was right about everything until that point.
It must be because I’m so in sync with the sensibilities of the director.
Jake Gyllenbon spoke to me.
Come to Hollywood, become a director.
Make a movie for me.
OK, my path is set.
I’m going to get a plane ticket to New York.
Watch out, Hollywood!
Then I remembered.

That trailer I saw the night before.
It pretty much spoiled the entire movie,
except for the final scene.
Can you believe it?
It’s a total scam. I got spoiled by the trailer before the movie was even out.
You might say it’s my fault for being careless.
Is it too much to ask that a movie show that purports to love movies
should not deceive movie buffs?
I mean, what the hell?
The word “spoiler” doesn’t just refer to the ending.
The dazzling spectacle of experiencing the movie in the theater,
that was spoiled for me.
Do you seriously think that you can avoid spoilers
just by cutting out the very end of the movie?
You can’t. Why? You just can’t.
They even talk about it in Why, Japanese People!?^[5], I think.

I realized all this while I was on the train, on my way home,
so I missed my stop and got off at the next station.
Well, that wasn’t so bad.
They have Starbucks at the station, so it all worked out.
I love their Cherry Blossom & Strawberry Frappuccino!

TO BE CONTINUED…

“Suda’s Fables” is where you can enjoy the insanity of Mr. Suda’s work as several stories are published in parallel. This time around, we bring you the fifth installment of the youthful story “Bright Red Girl”. This story is actually written in a very current style. Mamoru’s daily life is also your daily life, dealing with the seasonal flu, drinking a Cherry Blossom & Strawberry Frappuccino, and so on.

Editorial department

NOTES:
[1] Omiya is a ward in Saitama.

[2] Mamoru is mistyping Jake Gyllenhaal‘s name. ジェイク・ギレンノヤボーン vs. ジェイク・ジレンホール (the correct spelling).

[3] Information Programs. It may not be immediately clear in the translation, but Mamoru’s espousing the value of old, editorialized TV Information Programs over the endless flood of information that’s online.

[4] Newtype is a Gundam term to describe a new kind of human who has heightened awareness and is attuned with modern technology.

[5] Why, Japanese People!? is a Japanese book compiling foreign perspectives on life in Japan.

Episode 6 (March 18th 2016)

01.07 – Sky Blue Part 2

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

I got over the flu.
It’s been a arduous journey.
I had to spend a week in bed.
Meaning, I had a full week off.
I used it to do some philosophizing.

The reason why I’m lying here now
is that I’ve inhaled someone else’s virus
through a combination of fate, chance and nature.
Though I find meaning in its vagueness,
I also find meaning in it being meaningless.
And that meaning is chocolate.
The conclusion I came to
is that Sanko gave me that chocolate out of love.
I noticed the moon was wet.
I wonder if it was because
it had spent the day crying.
I like the crescent moon better than the full moon.
The full moon is way too smug for me.
The crescent moon is far more wise.
Its form is hazy and captivating.
It’s mysterious.
“Keeping an air of mystery is the sign of a good woman”,
that’s what my grandpa used to say.
Oh grandpa, you’re so wise!
Do you want to know grandpa’s secret?
I’ll tell you next time.

I know this is abrupt, but let’s go back to Mako’s story.

I followed Mako’s panties…… er,
I followed Mako into her house.

The apartment was pretty much empty,
but there was still a sense of life to it.
I’ve heard about it on TV,
it’s trendy to live with the bare minimum.
Then again, everything can become trendy in Tokyo.
I’m sure that someday
it’s going to be trendy not to flush the toilet after taking a shit
and “unknown book about poop” will suddenly become a bestseller,
with people using their crap to grow pesticide-free vegetables in the city! And then,
by exploiting the immigration boom, we’ll have a veritable shitfest!
…… Sorry, I got carried away again.
Girls don’t like these vulgar jokes,
so I’m deleting this part next week.
It’s a limited edition, read it while you can.

Her apartment was small,
but it felt the right size for one person.
Not too big or too small, you can reach everything you need with three steps.
When I grow up,
maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to live in a place like this.
As I was admiring the place, my feet suddenly revealed to me the disturbing nature of this house.
I could feel something wet and sticky seeping through my socks.
In that empty room where ‘nothing’ was, Mako Honjo spoke to me,
as I was standing on a carpet stained with red.

“I killed my father.”
“In this room?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“He didn’t eat my curry.”
“Curry? Seriously?”
“He refused to eat the curry I made for him. It was my first time making curry.”
“That’s why you killed him?”
“I think so.”
“How?”
“I don’t remember.”
“So your father didn’t eat your curry? Why?”
“Because it tasted bad.”
“What did he look like?”
“Who?”
“Your father.”
“He had a scary face. He just kept silently looking at the curry.”
“What do you remember?”
“Well, when I realized he wouldn’t eat my curry, I just ran inside my room.
But after a while, I thought he might have given it a chance, so I went out to check on him.
That’s when I saw the room being covered in blood.”
“What about the corpse?”
“There was none. Just blood.”
“Then why did you say you killed him?
Sounds to me like you don’t know who did it.”
“That can’t be it. I remember hiding the body.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Where did you hide it?”
“The corpse?”
“Yes, the corpse.”
“Are you interested in corpses?”
“As much as anybody else, I guess.”

Mako Honjo stared into my eyes.

“Follow me.”

Her voice was filled with determination.
I shouldn’t follow her, but I have no other option.
Why, you ask?
Because I want to see those sky blue panties again!
For some reason,
sky blue is a color that awakens romance in men.
That’s just how it is.

TO BE CONTINUED…

“Suda’s Fables” is where you can enjoy the insanity of Mr. Suda’s work as several stories are published in parallel. In this sixth installment of the youthful story “Bright Red Girl”, the tale takes a major turn. Mamoru, who lives in a current, everyday world, represents both you and Mr. Suda. We get a glimpse of Mr. Suda’s punk style as he connects minimalistic lifestyle with sh*tting.

Editorial department

Episode 7 (March 25th 2016)

01.08 – End of service

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

Starbucks has ended distribution of the Cherry Blossom & Strawberry Frappuccino.
I am in shock.
My dream will never be realized.
That of drinking a Cherry Blossom & Strawberry Frappuccino while watching the cherry blossoms fall.

Please, don’t look for me.
Especially in New York. That’d be pointless.
If you really want to find me, then come to the manga café in front of the station.
But please, let me finish reading One Punch Man first.
I’m just getting to the good part.

I can’t stand it anymore. I’m serious.
I hate cherry blossoms.

But I love Starbucks.
I love it so, so very much.
This URL will be closed.

I’ll see you next week.

TO BE CONTINUED…

“Suda’s Fables” is where you can enjoy the insanity of Mr. Suda’s work as several stories are published in parallel. “Bright Red Girl” is an especially current story. This seventh installment was a stark depiction of Mr. Suda’s current state of mind. I look forward to Mamoru’s revenge next week.

Editorial department

Episode 8 (April 1st 2016)

01.09 – Sky Blue Part 3

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

Continued from last week.

I am a broken man.
Spring wind and pollen are a deadly combination.
Carried by the pleasant spring breeze,
copious amounts of pollen attack your mucous membranes.
Pollen is a silent terrorist.
It wasn’t that bad last year, but they really ramped things up.
My eyes are wet, my nose is clogged, my voice is nasal and my throat hurts.
Moreover, my face is itchy.
My forehead’s all red.
My mom says I must have scratched it in my sleep.

As you can see, I’m not doing well.
So please, forgive my outburst last week.
It happens to everyone, doesn’t it?
Everyone’s got moments like that, right?
If you really wanted to eat Cocoichi^[1]‘s spring curry,
and you suddenly found out they had stopped serving it,
you’d go crazy, wouldn’t you?
Oh, don’t worry. Spring curry’s still on the menu.

Anyway, I have an important announcement.
I will not close down this URL.
This website will keep on going.
I still have a lot left to tell.
Hehehehe…

The conclusion to Mako’s story.

An apartment in a apartment complex.
A floor stained bright red with blood.
A blackened carpet.
She got angry about curry and killed her father.
The room where the body disappeared.
The sky blue Mako Honjo and I.
That’s where we were at.

Mako Honjo said she was going to lead me to where the body was hidden.
I couldn’t refuse.
No, I didn’t want to refuse.
I don’t care what happens.
I want to cherish this time and this communion of minds I get to have with Mako Honjo.

Without a care for my tender, wavering heart,
Mako Honjo took off in her beautiful stride.
It was the kind of walk that could tell you everything about the person in front of you just through the movement of their feet.
My eyes instinctively locked themselves onto her beautiful legs.
You could tell just by staring at her ankles.
You could sense her willingness to push people away from her just from the way she walked.
Without even looking at her face, the most oblivious bystander would be able to tell that that woman was trouble.

Hmmm, or would they?
I guess I was fascinated by trouble.
I feel anxious, dreading…… no, that’s not it.
I’m scared, but I’m also excited.
Dread is different. I feel like I’m walking inside a tiny aura of joy.
I chase after Mako Honjo like a loyal dog.

We walked.
And walked.
And walked some more.
We probably walked the length of two stations.

“Where are we going?”
“Shut up and follow me.”

Walking along the main street, I noticed that I could only see convenience stores and family restaurants.
My aunt always said that Japan was the kingdom of convenience stores.
She’s been very kind to me ever since I was little
and she always sends me gifts on new year’s eve.
She buys me toys without telling my mother. I really like her.
Sometimes I go to her for advice about love.
I’m not gonna tell you about that. It’s a secret.
Well, it’s mostly about Sanko.
My aunt has known Sanko since she was little, so she can get pretty nosy.
It’s a bit annoying. No, it’s actually very annoying.
Can’t she see she’s being too intrusive?
She needs to check her boundaries.
Maybe it’s because she lived overseas for a long time?

My aunt studied at Oxford,
then she got a job over there,
got married, had a child,
got divorced,
got married again,
and then, after 8 years, she came back to Japan.
Once she had returned, she would only eat convenience store bento.
She was crazy for it, going on and on about how delicious it was.
The food is especially nasty in Oxford,
and so, such a depressing environment
ended up producing some insidious and pessimistic music.
My aunt liked it though,
she said her favorite was Radiohead.
She’d always say, “Radiohead is the best!”
She’s always singing their disgusting songs.
She founded Oxford elementary school and made Creep the school’s song,
just because she really wanted to sing Creep with a bunch of people.
Is that really a good reason to open a school?

As you probably guessed by now, before enrolling in Birmingham middle school,
I went to Oxford elementary school for six years.
Meaning I had to sing Creep for six years.
We were taught to sing in whispers in music class.
That sounds creepy, doesn’t it?
Then when the chorus comes, you slowly ramp up your voice until it explodes.
Like this:

All of the students close their eyes and sing laa laa laa, you know?
It gets pretty crazy.
The song’s still gross, but it feels real nice.
I actually cried a little just singing it now.
It’s almost a religious experience.
I’m a follower of the Creep religion!
Creep is the best!
I love Creep!
Damn, I got caught in the moment and admitted it.
When I graduated from elementary school,
I chose to live my life denying Creep.
But as I was writing this, I was once again touched by the greatness of Creep.
Good on you, Creep.
But Tom E. York still sucks.

I got sidetracked again……
Back to Mako.

Mako Honjo entered a hidden room.
I can’t really explain its exact location.
We entered a large electronics store,
took the stairs down behind an empty storefront on the third floor,
got in the commercial elevator,
walked down an underground passageway,
and climbed up a fire escape ladder.
Then we arrived at the hidden room.
It looked like a small bungalow,
with walls covered in galvalume
like you would see in a tool shed or a shipping container.
It was like the home base in a video game.

“May I come in?”

When I walked inside the hidden room, surrounded by smoke,
I saw another Mako Honjo.
Both Mako Honjos are staring at me.
I’m in double trouble now.
That sucks.

“I am Mako.”
“And I am her split.”
“Split?”
“My split is Mako.
I am the original.”
“You’re twins, right?”
“No. Mako is a split human.”
“Humans don’t split. That’s not normal.”
“What’s ‘normal’?
Cell division is perfectly natural.”
“Yeah, thinking that the same thing wouldn’t apply to people,
that’s just unnatural.”
“That doesn’t explain anything.”
“Our identity is explained in the instruction manual.”
“There is no instruction manual.”
“Are you kidding me……
Is it here? The corpse.”
“Yes, of course.”
“Wanna see it?”

I nod.
The Makos let out a mischievous laugh.

“You can come in my secret room.”
“That’s fine, Mako. I don’t mind if he sees it.”
“Yes. If it’s him, then it’s alright.”
“Come in.”

Inside the dreary hidden room there was a ladder
leading to the basement.
If I go down first, I’ll be able to see Mako’s sky blue panties.
But what color would Mako’s panties be?
Bright red?
Or are they blue as well?
With her figure, yellow would also look nice on her.
As I carefully considered this,
Mako went down after Mako.
Shit……

What I saw in that basement was the very image of a girl’s room.
It was all white, warm and fluffy,
a hazy and fantastical space.
An even more hidden room, one that you’d never expect from its drab exterior.
A man’s corpse was lying on the western-style, fairy tale bed, looking miserable.
His head had been severed.

“Please, don’t.”

I tried to force my mouth shut, but there was nothing I could do. I started vomiting.
I immediately ran away from the hidden room.
In the end, fear won.
In a place beyond my basic understanding of reality,
no, in a place that may not even be real,
I met a troublesome girl named Mako.
What the hell is she?
What kind of thing is this Mako? There’s no way they’d let her have that name in the family registry.
Ah, but I see, she’s a split, so I doubt she even is in the family registry.
It’s still inappropriate though.
That laugh, she was clearly making fun of me.
But she’s cute, and so is Mako.
That’s what I was thinking as I ran for my life.
I need to get home right now.
I need to get home, tell my mom about all of this, and hear her say it was just my imagination.
“I’ve always told you, Mamoru, you need to be careful about being overcome by delusions, didn’t I?”
Yes, that’s what she’s going to tell me.
That’s right, this is just a story I made up.
Thank you, everyone, for wasting your time with my story!

Aaahhh!
Mako Honjo caught up with me. She sure is fast.
So I guess I didn’t imagine it……

“Hey, don’t run away!”
“I’m not running away!”
“Yes you are!”
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I just can’t.
That’s a real corpse right there.”
“Then save me……
Save Mako.”
“Mako?
So you’re the split.”
“Please, protect us……”
“I can’t do it……”
“I beg you.”
“I can’t.”
“Hey.”

Mako’s face quickly approached mine and,
before I could even contemplate how small her face was, her lips overlapped with mine.
A true Second Kiss^[2].

As we intertwined, time stood still for three minutes.
It felt like two hours.
I melted.

“I’m going to save you. What should I do?”
“We need to hide the existence of Mako.”
“How?”
“I have an idea.”
“What is it?”
“First of all, you’re gonna need to get us some feed.”
“Feed? What for?”
“Mako could use it. It works best when combined with your power of protection.”^[3]
“What are you talking about?”
“You’ve seen how red she is, didn’t you? That’s the mark of a killer.”
“……”
“Mako and I, we killed our father.”
“But why……?”
“It’s a secret. I promised Mako I wouldn’t tell.”
“Let me know when you need that feed.”
“…… I’ll have to discuss that with Mako.”
“OK. I’ll be heading home then.”
“Can you meet me this weekend?”
“Sure, how about Saturday?”
“That’s fine. I’ll be at the Aeon in front of the station.”
“Want to meet on the fourth floor?”
“No, I’ll be at the Cozy Corner^[4] on the second floor.”
“OK. So…”
“Good night.”
“Good night.”

Mako Honjo ran back to the hidden room.
She vanished quickly,
without looking back,
as if she had already forgotten about me, about what just happened.
Of course I’m curious, but I shouldn’t go after her.
I should stop here.
I should definitely, absolutely stop.
Stop……
I should have stopped there, but instead, I went back to the hidden room.
I really wish I had stopped.

I thought about ending the story here,
but I need to tell the whole truth.
Is that what they call the spirit of jounoralism^[5]?
I won’t run away from the truth!
Otherwise, all my work on this site will have been for nothing.

The truth will be up next week.
Now I’m going to sleep.

TO BE CONTINUED…

“Suda’s Fables” is where you can enjoy the insanity of Mr. Suda’s work as several stories are published in parallel. The first chapter of “Bright Red Girl” is about to reach its climax. That’s right: according to Mr. Suda, this is only the beginning of the story. What will happen to Mako, Mako and Mamoru in the future?

Editorial department

NOTES:
[1] Cocoichi is short for Curry House CoCo Ichibanya.

[2] “Second kiss” (セカンドキス) is a play on a wrestling style called “Second kill” (秒殺) which was popularized by Pancrase, in which the wrestler would go all out and defeat his opponent “within seconds”. As we know from the first chapter, this is actually Mamoru’s first kiss. “Second” here refers to the time unit.

[3] This exchange is just as bizarre as it sounds in Japanese. I am not 100% sure the translation correctly expresses the original meaning, as the original meaning is itself unclear. The term used for “feed” (餌) specifically refers to food that is given to animals, and could also refer to bait.

[4] The Ginza Cozy Corner is a candy store.

[5] The typo is in the original text. In case you haven’t noticed, Mamoru has trouble spelling foreign words in katakana.

Episode 9 (April 8th 2016)

01.099 – Truth and facts

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

Even though I just got over the flu, I caught a cold from Mako Honjo.
I was stuck in bed with a 39° fever until yesterday.
But I’ll be the bigger man and forgive her.
I forgive her for kissing me.

I’m fine now, I’ve already healed.
Right, I have to write what happened next.
The story of that night.

I tailed Mako Honjo back to her hidden room.
Or at least I tried to. She completely vanished.
Not just her. The electronics store on the national highway had also disappeared.
The huge building that was there just a few minutes before was nowhere to be seen.
All I saw was a large empty lot.
It looked like a ruin. A miserable sight.
My heart was also in ruins.
Then I suddenly started coughing,
my head started spinning,
and I realized I had gotten sick.
I had caught Mako Honjo’s cold.
Fuck! That bitch…!
I’ll never forgive her!
But in the end, I forgave her.
I wonder if she drugged me……
Wouldn’t put it past her.

So, why did Mako Honjo and split Mako kill their father?
My guess is that the whole story was a lie.
Mako Honjo just happened to have a crush on me,
so she cooked up this grandiose story to attract my attention
and get me to go on a date with her.
But if that’s the case, then why didn’t she just ask me?
Well, maybe I wouldn’t have said yes right away even if she did ask me.
I would have needed some time to consider it.
About two seconds, just to see how she’d react.
Then, after two seconds, I would have said…… maybe…… yeah, OK.
Although, Mako Honjo is a very impatient girl.
That might have been enough to make her faint.

So, what was the trick behind split Mako?
My guess is that she used that famous technique.
You know, the one with the projector?
That must have been it.
They used it in Tokyo Central Station and in Mouseland^[1],
I saw that on TV.
I was so amazed by that technology
that I could not figure out Mako’s trick right then and there.
But now I know.
I know everything.
I’m going to tell Mako when I see her on Saturday.
“All mysteries solved, Tamori Club!”^[2]
Oh, you’re so funny!
Like, super funny!

…… What’s so funny?
Girls who just call everything ‘funny’
are a total pain in the ass.
What’s the funny part, exactly?
Do you mean funny as a positive, or a negative?
So?
How am I supposed to interpret this?
Good funny means that you liked it,
bad funny means that you’re laughing at me,
and neutral funny, does that mean I left no impression at all?
It’s incomprehensible!
Wednesday Downtown^[3] is funny,
Japan Rocket Festival^[4], unjustly canceled after one season, is funny,
the legendary Jump Kick Goddess^[5] is funny.
In other words, ‘funny’ is something that makes you laugh out loud.
I’m serious, we need to enact this law tomorrow!
The use of ‘funny’ must be limited to actual laughter!
If you break the law, your punishment will be an enema!
Don’t underestimate the power of the internet.
Tomorrow morning,
the national newspaper will announce the new law on its front page.
The internet is just that powerful.
The power of the internet leaves me in awe.
I can feel the vibes of the internet.
What the hell!? I just got a warning from Public Security.^[6]
The Web is under surveillance.
I was told that I can’t just write whatever I want.
Nice try, you asshole.
You must have a lot of time on your hands, don’t you!?
Get off the internet and go do your job!
You’re just venting your frustration from having to attend all those worthless meetings for your worthless job
by picking on a random target and sending them a random warning!
Is it fun? Are you going anywhere with this?
Hell, is your career going anywhere?
Do your worst!
I won’t bow down to Public Security.
I won’t betray my words.
Everyone’s afraid to throw their words into the sea of the net.
It takes dedication and determination,
it’s really a challenge with the audinence^[7]. It’s true.
It’s just like the Tenryu Revolution.
I made my bones in local shows, without cutting any corners, believing in my own words.
That’s how I decided to tackle the Web.
Public Security’s not even standing in the same ring as me.
It’s just not right for them to pick on me.
Words are a form of expression.
Don’t look down on those who express themselves.
It takes just as much courage as to step into the octagon.
No matter what Public Security does to me, I’m never going to give up.
Even if they kick me out of the country.
Truths and facts may sound similar, but they’re nothing alike.
Facts are just flimsy, surface-level, distorted, personal interpretations.
People spread them around as if they were truths, but they’re nothing more than distortions.
Finding the truth then becomes harder and harder.
Because it’s shrouded in distortions.
But truth itself cannot be distorted.
It is something that can be viewed from every angle,
from the front, the back and the side,
and still be objectively, dispassionately recognized as truth.
People may slash at me with swords of distorted truth,
but the one real truth will always stand by itself.
Those who can find the truth are few and far between.
What if nobody around me sees the truth
and they just stick with the distorted facts?
Then that’s it.
It’s over. The end of life.
That’s why I have to find them.
Those special individuals who can see the truth.

Mako Honjo was one of them. I could tell right away.
There’s two more.
My mom, and Moppin.
So, it’s not over yet.
We can still win.
Ahh, that’s a relief.
It feels like something that was once vague has suddenly become clear.
Maybe ‘fact’ is not exactly the right word.
You see, ○○○○○（※CENSORED BY THE EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT) seems interesting at face value,
but it’s actually not that great, kinda like Moyamoya.
Speaking of Moyamoya, I have to say that Summers^[8]……

Huh!?
my keyboard’s been ttttttaken over
pubbbblicccccc ssssssecrrittttttttttt
cant talk about summmmmmmmmrssssssss
is thererre no truth in this wordllddddddddddld
godddddddddbye evrrrrrrrrrrryoen
im off to fight public securittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttty

01.1 – Bottle blonde^[9]

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

I have to keep it short so that Public Security won’t find this.
Went to Aeon on Saturday.
Had a date with Mako Honjo.
A regular movie date.
But then it happened.
I saw another bright red girl.
This time, she was a blonde.
But I’m sure she was Japanese.
She was walking around, eating a muffin.
Why a muffin?

My name is Mamoru Kimishika.

I will continue this story somewhere else.
Goodbye.

END OF CHAPTER 1.

“Suda’s Fables” is where you can enjoy the insanity of Mr. Suda’s work as several stories are published in parallel. This concludes the first chapter of “Bright Red Girl”. The tale of Mako, Mako and Mamoru will continue after a short break. In the mean time, please look forward to the publication of a different story.

Editorial department

NOTES:
[1] The technology Mamoru is referring to is digital projection mapping, which has indeed been used in Tokyo Central Station and in Disneyland. When he’s referring to “Mouseland”, it is actually another example of Mamoru misspelling foreign words in katakana. ネズミーランド (Nezumiland) vs. ディズニーランド (Disneyland). It just so happens that ネズミ (Nezumi) also means mouse, hence the translation, due to the obvious relationship between Mickey Mouse and Disney.

[2] A quote from the late night variety show Tamori Club, hosted by comedian Kazuyoshi “Tamori” Morita, where a wide variety of everyday topics were discussed.

[3] Wednesday Downtown is a Japanese variety show where the guest, usually a comedian, proposes an outlandish theory and it is proven or disproven through the course of the episode.

[4] Japan Rocket Festival was a variety show in which several comedians took part in extreme challenges. It only ran for one season from October to December of 2010.

[5] Gokuraku Tonbo’s Jump Kick Goddess, also known as Jump Kick Venus, was another late-night variety show hosted by the manzai duo Gokuraku Tonbo, comprised of Keiichi Yamamoto and Koji Kato.

[6] Public Security (公安) refers to a real department within the Japanese Ministry of Justice. However, given the connection this story shares with The 25th Ward (namely the fact that the Starbucks in Hinashiro appears in both this story and the game, and the similarities between Sumio’s and Mamoru’s rants about truth and facts) it is likely referring to The 24th Ward’s Public Security department, which oversaw the REPUBLIC team and was structured around the former CCO faction.

[7] The typo is in the original text. In case you haven’t noticed, Mamoru has trouble spelling foreign words in katakana.

[8] Moyamoya (モヤモヤ) is short for Moyamoya Summers 2 (モヤモヤさまぁ〜ず2), a travel show hosted by the comedy duo Summers.

[9] The term used in the original text here, Patsukin (パツキン), is a Japanese slang word indicating a woman who has dyed her hair blonde. Given that the new bright red girl is Japanese, it is extremely unlikely that she’d be a natural blonde. For consistency, it has been replaced by an English slang word with the same meaning.

Observations

My name is Danny Dataly. I am the core writer of Paradise Hotel 51.

These are just my personal ruminations on the story. First of all, I’d like to look at the lyrics of the original song, まっ赤な女の子 by Kyoko Koizumi.

As Makkana Onnanoko was being published, the re-release of 25th was still two years away, but Suda would have been supervising the re-release of The Silver Case, which came out a few months after this story. That’s probably the reason why he found himself in that mindset; at this point in the company’s history, the references to Hinashiro (the main setting of the Twilight and Moonlight Syndrome games, which are direct prequels to The Silver) would have felt pretty arbitrary, as continuity and recurring characters and settings from their earlier titles hadn’t been a thing since the original No More Heroes in 2007.

Sorry, I had to take a break. Wanna know why? I got the flu. Who’s got it? I do! I managed to get sick on August the 15th. What are the chances? It’s a national holiday over here, so I have the same chance of finding a doctor as I do of winning the lottery. Naturally, armed with that knowledge, I dragged myself to the Tabaccheria and bought five lottery tickets. They were all losers.

Anyway, back to the story. In 2016, Suda had begun the process of scaling things down to focus on smaller, more personal projects, which would eventually lead to him downsizing the company a couple of years later. Specifically, Makkana Onnanoko came out as Kurayami Dance, a manga penned by Suda and drawn by Syuji Takeya, was also being published episodically on Comic Beam. Syuji Takeya’s early work is actually surprisingly in line with Suda’s early work, especially in regards to Minagoroshi no Maria (皆殺しのマリア) which… no, let’s stay on topic.

The two stories actually share some similarities, in that both of them feature a lot more autobiographical elements than Suda’s earlier work. If Makkana Onnanoko is Suda’s “everyday life” (though the protagonist is, ironically, a kid), with Mamoru’s narration being at least partially inspired by his current tastes and habits as noted by the editorial department and, of course, his love for English punk rock being put on full display, Kurayami Dance is Suda’s “past” (though the protagonist is, ironically, an adult), including ruminations about his job as an undertaker, with the story being based on one of the unused scripts for Kurayami. Both protagonists happen to have been raised by a single mother, just like Suda himself, though Kurayami Dance takes a much more grim approach in depicting their relationship.

If one were so inclined, Kurayami Dance, Makkana Onnanoko and Travis Strikes Again, the first title that was developed by the downsized GhM in 2018, could be grouped together as a biographical trilogy of sorts, with the Suda of “today”, the Suda of “yesterday” and Suda “as a game developer”.

Interestingly enough, when The 25th Ward was re-released a couple of years later, one of its brand new chapters, YUKI, actually maintained continuity with Makkana Onnanoko by showing a Starbucks in Hinashiro station, despite the chapter itself being penned by Masahi Ooka. Though the Starbucks is actually named “Strikes Again Coffee” to tease the then-upcoming TSA and to avoid copyright issues, it’s impossible to misread the famous logo.

I haven’t said much about the story though, have I? Around the mid-point, Mako confesses to Mamoru that she has killed her own father for refusing to eat the curry she cooked. According to her, she does not remember killing the man, but she is sure of being a culprit as she remembers hiding the body.

She then leads Mamoru to her hidden room, located underground in a secret area concealed by a bungalow not dissimilar from a tool shed or a shipping container. There, he meets another Mako, who also confesses to the murder, and is presented with their father’s corpse.

There is no definitive explanation for these events in the story itself. Mamoru’s own explanation is nonsensical: he posits that the second Mako was an illusion created through the use of projection mapping. That is, of course, impossible, when taking his version of the events at face value: both Makos are described as responding to his questions in real time, meaning there was no way for one of them to be filmed in advance. This also does not explain how the hidden room could vanish into thin air.

I will posit two interpretations, both of which are likely wrong:

1. Mako Honjo is an Ayame. Yes, she is too young to have been part of the original Ayame Maspro, as being in the third year of middle school means that both protagonists are either 14 or 15 years old, while the original Maspros were active during the 80s.
   However, The 25th Ward’s YUKI chapter shows us, through its protagonist, that the legacy of Kamui and Ayame is still very much alive in the mid-to-late 2010s. Moreover, it is not unreasonable to assume that several more Maspros existed beyond those shown in the games; in fact, this is hinted at with the character of Meru.
   Kamuis and Ayames are naturally drawn to underground locations, through their common memories of the shelter. That would explain how her “topside” home is dreadfully empty, while her “underground” home is more reflective of her personality.
   Through Flower, Sun, and Rain and The 25th Ward, we are shown that Elbow (through its proxies) is perfectly capable of creating identical replicas of human beings, namely with Sumio and Shiroyabu.
   Is it possible that Mako Honjo happened to connect with another Mako Honjo? Or that she truly split into two people in order to share the guilt of her father’s murder?
2. My second, and, in my opinion, more likely explanation, is that Mamoru Kimishika is full of shit. Through the course of the story he often describes himself as a harbinger of truth, beyond the distorted facts usually posted online.
   However, he is just running a blog. What he is doing is, quite literally, posting facts online. There’s no reason to believe his prose is correct or even truthful. In fact, he is caught in a lie in the very first chapter, making up words that his grandfather never actually said.
   Whenever I referred to Mako luring in Mamoru, what I was actually talking about was Mamoru’s version of events.
   The entire story may very well be an example of Chūnibyō (中二病), a Japanese phenomenon referring to young people (with the term specifically referring to the second year of middle school) who make up grandiose stories and delude themselves into thinking they are part of some great destiny.
   This is hinted at as Mamoru goes to watch the movie Nightcrawler (which is, incidentally, about a voyeur) and his first assumption, as he is able to predict most of the movie, is that he has developed psychic powers.
   This is even hinted at in one of the later chapters, with him mentioning that his mother has been warning him about being overcome by delusions from a young age. It also seems weird to me that the Public Security department would take interest in some kid’s blog just for criticizing a comedy duo.
   His interest in women is shown to be especially fleeting. The girl he describes as his first love, Sanko, essentially disappears from the narrative as he becomes enamored with Mako. But as soon as he starts dating Mako, he is immediately lured in by a new “bright red girl”, this time a blonde. (Is this another autobiographical detail? Suda has been fascinated with blondes ever since 2007.)
   Could it be that the whole tale was just an exaggerated or completely manufactured version of events, cooked up by Mamoru to make his very mundane relationship with Mako sound more special?

We’ll never know if either of these interpretations are correct, if they are both wrong or if the answer lies in a combination of the two, because the story abruptly ceased publication with the end of its first arc. Meaning that fans of Makkana Onnanoko have been waiting seven years (it’s 2023 over here. But depending on when you’re reading this, it might be a different year where you are.) for a continuation of this underrated masterpiece.

That is why, betraying everything I ever believed in, will now issue a call to action. The awesome power of the internet must fix this. 新まっ赤な女の子 must be made a reality! Do not underestimate the net. If we all stand up, participation becomes power, and the movement will grow into a revolution. Il Corriere della Sera will run the story tomorrow morning, on how the internet forced a Japanese videogame director to write a sequel to a 2016 short story. Hell, I even expect an article from Il Foglio. I know not many people like ○○○○○’s work in the mainstream, but I feel that he’d be receptive to our plight of…
What the fuck? I just got a warning from la Polizia Postale!