This is a small staff page that I wrote, because I found it obnoxious that my bio appears after every single post. It's gonna be written in the same style though.
Here's the old bio Jack wrote, I'll save it here since I find it funny as shit:
I'm also bringing back the suda pic, though I'll censor out my face lolHe’s a BaDA$$ mothafucka.
The mastermind behind Paradise Hotel 51. He took control of K7SINdicate as a part of his plan to overthrow the world economy, but he was blown up in his building, along with 600 trillion yen, by the US Army. The world economy was fucked up by that debt, but 5 years later it apparently recovered and it wasn’t that bad of a crisis either. Don’t ask.
Meanwhile, after his death, Xed built a little hotel near the gates for Paradise, Paradise Hotel 51. His objective might have been to gather enough souls to start a war against the army of God AKA HIDEOUS Kojima, but unfortunately he inherited the souls of the damned mothafuckas.
All they ever manage to achieve is to waste their mothefuckin time talking about irrelevant bullshit. Mothafucka! Mothafucka, mothafucka the site mascot, My Killer Melody (The angry bunny.) shall lead us towards the valleys of BEDLAM! Or maybe not, because all that fucking Bunny ever does is exclaim “Mothafucka!”
(Some believe that the so called “mascot bunny” might not have a decent enough grasp of the english language, thus leading to his adoption of the most commonly used words of the American dialect. Which are Mothafucka and bitch.)
The bunny doesn’t actually know what the expletives mean but we simply follow along coz it’s a friggin’ bunny who keeps saying mothafucka. The bunny says that word so much that we don’t even know what the word Mothafucka means anymore.
KILL the STAFF
Xed51
Chief writer and resident badass motherfucker.
This notorious criminal is on the run from the italian police, the carabinieri and the Interpol.
After associating with known undesireables, he forcefully took over the Killer7 SINdicate and molded it into Paradise Hotel.
His objective might have been to gather enough souls to start a war against the army of God AKA HIDEOUS Kojima. We might never know; he wound up inheriting the souls of the damned motherfuckers, and all they ever managed to achieve is to waste their mothefuckin time talking about irrelevant bullshit.
To this day he acts as the gatekeeper for the dead zone, dreading HIS appearence...
Favourite food: Pizza
Iwazaru
Russian hacker by day, russian hacker by night.
Stealing the US presidency was but a pastime for him. Donald Trump and Joe Biden are mere pawns in his subversive eastern plot. Can he be stopped? Should he be stopped?
When interviewed by our team of investigators, he had this to say:
"write smth about I make crazy music that make heads explode or smth"
Future generations will ponder about the meaning of such words;
For now, he handles the technical aspects of PH51, from web design to coding, while preserving the older incarnations of the website as a sort of gravekeeper.
Favourite color: Red
Captain Jack
A shadow from the past... or maybe a warning from the future!?
The lingering will of the original webmaster still haunts the hallowed halls of the Paradise Hotel. What is he up to? Does he truly rapresent the will of an age long past, or is he just gearing up for a comeback?
Women want him, man want to be him, janitors fear him and he's rumored to have played a played a part in every major terror attack since the late 90s.
Favourite body part: ASS
Mr. Killer Melody
Mothafucka! Mothafucka, mothafucka the site mascot, My Killer Melody (The angry bunny.) shall lead us towards the valleys of BEDLAM! Or maybe not, because all that fucking Bunny ever does is exclaim “Mothafucka!”
(Some believe that the so called “mascot bunny” might not have a decent enough grasp of the english language, thus leading to his adoption of the most commonly used words of the American dialect. Which are Mothafucka and bitch.)
The bunny doesn’t actually know what the expletives mean but we simply follow along coz it’s a bunny who keeps saying mothafucka. The bunny says that word so much that we don’t even know what the word Mothafucka means anymore.
Blood type: GX