AngelheadedHipster wrote: ↑Sat Jul 22, 2023 8:17 pm
It seems like a very fascinating game and I certainly want to see more of it.
But, I'm sorry if this sounds rude, the English translation is pretty spotty. I'm sure the development is probably too far along that you'd revise it entirely at this point, but if you have any interest in correcting some things with a post release patch or anything along those lines, I'd be interested in helping you correct it. I'm not asking to be paid, getting to do some work on a promising game is enough for me. Feel free to write me a message if you're interested.
Rake wrote: ↑Sat Jul 22, 2023 8:17 pm
I 2nd that, pretty much everyone here is interested in game development but right now no one has the time to commit to building something entirely from scratch. Reach out if you want any assistance.
I'm working on the translation right now, so my main job is to translate the game into English and edit the text. I am even willing to delay the release of the game if it will allow me to make a better translation because I want to bring my game to more players without losing the narrative.
Tell me if you rate this translation from 1 to 10, what mark would you give it? And is my translation better than low quality translation of Japanese games into English. I just noticed that Japanese game translations are often criticized for their low quality and I would like to know how close I am to that quality.
I won't refuse any help.
If you can help me I am willing to add references to you. For example in a graveyard or in a bar.
If I had to rate it in its current form, it'd probably be a 4/10. The problem is not so much with some awkward phrasing that suggests it was originally written in another language. I think that can actually sometimes add to the prose in a way, if it doesn't get to overbearing. Which is what a lot of English translations of Japanese games have. And, for what it's worth, I take some sentences no native english speaker would say over translations that try to rewrite too much of the dialogue to make it sound wittier while shitting all over the prose.
The problem is with sentences that are just not correct in english. Say "Those people whose minds I owe will serve me and following my great mission". It's a sentence a reader is gonna stumble over. It should be "own" instead of "owe" and "follow" instead of "following". And I could go over the writing in the demo line by line, and if you're interested I'd absolutely do it, but just to get my point across: There's nothing wrong with a translation that makes it apparent that the original script was written in a foreign language. It just becomes an issue when it feels like the translator wasn't quite fluid in English, which in this case, it sometimes does.
Thank you for your assessment. It's a little sad to hear that the translation doesn't even reach 5.... but it's a fact I should accept and make the text better. If you can help me I would be very grateful. After all, I'm looking for ways to improve the quality of translation in the game, not only in the demo. Unfortunately, the tools on the engine to localize the text is not very convenient ... So it can be difficult to get the text out of the game in some places. But I could send you the text from the key scenes of the first chapters in the game. The other day Rake also wrote to me and asked for my discord and said that PH51 team is also interested in translating the game. But nobody else from PH51 team wrote to me after that.
P.S
I'd like to improve the quality of text throughout the game. But the highest priority is given to key story scenes. I they should be higher in quality than 4/10.
I'm working on the translation right now, so my main job is to translate the game into English and edit the text. I am even willing to delay the release of the game if it will allow me to make a better translation because I want to bring my game to more players without losing the narrative.
Tell me if you rate this translation from 1 to 10, what mark would you give it? And is my translation better than low quality translation of Japanese games into English. I just noticed that Japanese game translations are often criticized for their low quality and I would like to know how close I am to that quality.
I won't refuse any help.
If you can help me I am willing to add references to you. For example in a graveyard or in a bar.
If I had to rate it in its current form, it'd probably be a 4/10. The problem is not so much with some awkward phrasing that suggests it was originally written in another language. I think that can actually sometimes add to the prose in a way, if it doesn't get to overbearing. Which is what a lot of English translations of Japanese games have. And, for what it's worth, I take some sentences no native english speaker would say over translations that try to rewrite too much of the dialogue to make it sound wittier while shitting all over the prose.
The problem is with sentences that are just not correct in english. Say "Those people whose minds I owe will serve me and following my great mission". It's a sentence a reader is gonna stumble over. It should be "own" instead of "owe" and "follow" instead of "following". And I could go over the writing in the demo line by line, and if you're interested I'd absolutely do it, but just to get my point across: There's nothing wrong with a translation that makes it apparent that the original script was written in a foreign language. It just becomes an issue when it feels like the translator wasn't quite fluid in English, which in this case, it sometimes does.
Thank you for your assessment. It's a little sad to hear that the translation doesn't even reach 5.... but it's a fact I should accept and make the text better. If you can help me I would be very grateful. After all, I'm looking for ways to improve the quality of translation in the game, not only in the demo. Unfortunately, the tools on the engine to localize the text is not very convenient ... So it can be difficult to get the text out of the game in some places. But I could send you the text from the key scenes of the first chapters in the game. The other day Rake also wrote to me and asked for my discord and said that PH51 team is also interested in translating the game. But nobody else from PH51 team wrote to me after that.
P.S
I'd like to improve the quality of text throughout the game. But the highest priority is given to key story scenes. I they should be higher in quality than 4/10.
Sure, go ahead. I'll look over them and make some notes where I think they could be improved.
If it's something you're planning to do eventually, I'd also be interested in assisting with a German translation. You know, provided you can get it sold on german Steam.
AngelheadedHipster wrote: ↑Mon Jul 24, 2023 5:24 am
If it's something you're planning to do eventually, I'd also be interested in assisting with a German translation. You know, provided you can get it sold on german Steam.
Ok, but first I need to find out why the game is not visible in German Steam. Steam gave the game the highest sex rating because of the female breasts in the trailer. There are no explicit sex scenes in the game itself, but there are naked female characters, lots of dirty talk, and a lot of sexual innuendo. However, if the cruelty is the problem, I'm afraid I can't do anything to fix the availability of my game in Germany.
A new translation for the demo has been released. This translation was prepared together with ParadiseHotel51 for what I am very grateful to him! At the moment the work on the release version is steadily progressing. In Feral I expect to release an update with an additional mercenary-style mode (I hope that I will have time to make it).
I would like to thank all those who supported my game and offered their help. I really appreciate it!
Update: New English translation.
Improved visual effects.
Improved stability.
AngelheadedHipster wrote: ↑Mon Jul 24, 2023 5:24 am
If it's something you're planning to do eventually, I'd also be interested in assisting with a German translation. You know, provided you can get it sold on german Steam.
Ok, but first I need to find out why the game is not visible in German Steam. Steam gave the game the highest sex rating because of the female breasts in the trailer. There are no explicit sex scenes in the game itself, but there are naked female characters, lots of dirty talk, and a lot of sexual innuendo. However, if the cruelty is the problem, I'm afraid I can't do anything to fix the availability of my game in Germany.
I'm gonna assume it probably has something to do with the sex rating, yeah. As far as I know the only reason that sort of thing happens to indie games on Steam is because they're marked down as porn games. I believe it also happened to the Fear and Hunger games.
Have you also uploaded the new translation on itch.io yet? I'd like to try it out.
AngelheadedHipster wrote: ↑Mon Jul 24, 2023 5:24 am
I'm gonna assume it probably has something to do with the sex rating, yeah. As far as I know the only reason that sort of thing happens to indie games on Steam is because they're marked down as porn games. I believe it also happened to the Fear and Hunger games.
Have you also uploaded the new translation on itch.io yet? I'd like to try it out.
Hi, I recently I was able to solve the age rating issue. I had to make concessions to Steam and make a new trailer. Probably my game is now available in your region. I would be very grateful if you could check if the game is available in your region.
I also apologize for not responding to your message for so long. I was very busy. Unfortunately, I have not uploaded the updated version of the game to Itch.io. But I'm uploading it right now, so it will be available in a while.
I also wanted to let you know that Mind Control: Bloody Renaissance is participating in NEXT FEST. I will be very glad if you support the game and play the demo if you haven't played it yet.
