by AngelheadedHipster » Mon Jul 24, 2023 5:24 am
BYYONI wrote: ↑Sun Jul 23, 2023 3:07 pm
AngelheadedHipster wrote: ↑Sat Jul 22, 2023 8:17 pm
It seems like a very fascinating game and I certainly want to see more of it.
But, I'm sorry if this sounds rude, the English translation is pretty spotty. I'm sure the development is probably too far along that you'd revise it entirely at this point, but if you have any interest in correcting some things with a post release patch or anything along those lines, I'd be interested in helping you correct it. I'm not asking to be paid, getting to do some work on a promising game is enough for me. Feel free to write me a message if you're interested.
Rake wrote: ↑Sat Jul 22, 2023 8:17 pm
I 2nd that, pretty much everyone here is interested in game development but right now no one has the time to commit to building something entirely from scratch. Reach out if you want any assistance.
I'm working on the translation right now, so my main job is to translate the game into English and edit the text. I am even willing to delay the release of the game if it will allow me to make a better translation because I want to bring my game to more players without losing the narrative.
Tell me if you rate this translation from 1 to 10, what mark would you give it? And is my translation better than low quality translation of Japanese games into English. I just noticed that Japanese game translations are often criticized for their low quality and I would like to know how close I am to that quality.
I won't refuse any help.
If you can help me I am willing to add references to you. For example in a graveyard or in a bar.
If I had to rate it in its current form, it'd probably be a 4/10. The problem is not so much with some awkward phrasing that suggests it was originally written in another language. I think that can actually sometimes add to the prose in a way, if it doesn't get to overbearing. Which is what a lot of English translations of Japanese games have. And, for what it's worth, I take some sentences no native english speaker would say over translations that try to rewrite too much of the dialogue to make it sound wittier while shitting all over the prose.
The problem is with sentences that are just not correct in english. Say "Those people whose minds I owe will serve me and following my great mission". It's a sentence a reader is gonna stumble over. It should be "own" instead of "owe" and "follow" instead of "following". And I could go over the writing in the demo line by line, and if you're interested I'd absolutely do it, but just to get my point across: There's nothing wrong with a translation that makes it apparent that the original script was written in a foreign language. It just becomes an issue when it feels like the translator wasn't quite fluid in English, which in this case, it sometimes does.
[quote=BYYONI post_id=3817 time=1690124878 user_id=2848]
[quote=AngelheadedHipster post_id=3813 time=1690057032 user_id=86]
It seems like a very fascinating game and I certainly want to see more of it.
But, I'm sorry if this sounds rude, the English translation is pretty spotty. I'm sure the development is probably too far along that you'd revise it entirely at this point, but if you have any interest in correcting some things with a post release patch or anything along those lines, I'd be interested in helping you correct it. I'm not asking to be paid, getting to do some work on a promising game is enough for me. Feel free to write me a message if you're interested.
[/quote]
[quote=Rake post_id=3813 time=1690057032 user_id=86]
I 2nd that, pretty much everyone here is interested in game development but right now no one has the time to commit to building something entirely from scratch. Reach out if you want any assistance.
[/quote]
I'm working on the translation right now, so my main job is to translate the game into English and edit the text. I am even willing to delay the release of the game if it will allow me to make a better translation because I want to bring my game to more players without losing the narrative.
Tell me if you rate this translation from 1 to 10, what mark would you give it? And is my translation better than low quality translation of Japanese games into English. I just noticed that Japanese game translations are often criticized for their low quality and I would like to know how close I am to that quality.
I won't refuse any help.
If you can help me I am willing to add references to you. For example in a graveyard or in a bar.
[/quote]
If I had to rate it in its current form, it'd probably be a 4/10. The problem is not so much with some awkward phrasing that suggests it was originally written in another language. I think that can actually sometimes add to the prose in a way, if it doesn't get to overbearing. Which is what a lot of English translations of Japanese games have. And, for what it's worth, I take some sentences no native english speaker would say over translations that try to rewrite too much of the dialogue to make it sound wittier while shitting all over the prose.
The problem is with sentences that are just not correct in english. Say "Those people whose minds I owe will serve me and following my great mission". It's a sentence a reader is gonna stumble over. It should be "own" instead of "owe" and "follow" instead of "following". And I could go over the writing in the demo line by line, and if you're interested I'd absolutely do it, but just to get my point across: There's nothing wrong with a translation that makes it apparent that the original script was written in a foreign language. It just becomes an issue when it feels like the translator wasn't quite fluid in English, which in this case, it sometimes does.
